For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
