You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Text me some of your sweat
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
