They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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