you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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