enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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