Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
