I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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