It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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