I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
