Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
