I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The air was thick with penises
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
