: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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