VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize