is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
