susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
