Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
