I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
