my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
third nipple confirmed
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation