You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."