i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.