Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize