Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i think im in europe. pls send help