i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
