i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
