our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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