I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
