are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
