just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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