Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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