please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
