My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
