dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
