if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
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I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
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I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast