I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize