i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"