Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
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