ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
