I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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