Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My pussy is not your playground.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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