M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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