He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
