I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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