There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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