Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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