I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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