I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm determined to sit on that face.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
