party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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