ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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