we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
