I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
"it" just moved
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
