Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
