I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
