Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
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