i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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