It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
