We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
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I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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