i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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