i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
