Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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