dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
