enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
