Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
