I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
