Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
