I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
