Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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