too bad you live with your parents still
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
