My cat gives me a boner
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
