Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
